The best thing you can do to ensure that you have a successful divorce is to set goals. Your lawyer can help you with these if you are too stuck in the process to handle it, but if you can come up with them on your own, all the better. Prepare a goal sheet early on and adjust it as necessary with your attorney. It might look something like this:
- Primary custody of the children.
- Sell the house and split the proceeds, so I can get an apartment near my mother.
- 50% of the 401k
- Child support
- Would like $100 a week in alimony for 3 years so I can go to school.
- Want extra support for little Jimmy’s expensive soccer lessons.
- Would like to be reimbursed for the money I put out for his truck school out of my inheritance.
Bonus! Would love to have:
- Extra 2 weeks of summer vacation with kids.
- Have him agree to let me move to Baltimore with the kids in a year.
Your lawyer can review with you the feasibility of each of the goals you have set, in light of the unique facts of your situation. However, it is imperative that you start somewhere and adjust your goals in accordance with real possible results, so that you can walk away able to check off as many wins as possible of what you need and really want. If your lawyer is unclear what your priorities are, you may find they cannot help but fight for the wrong things.
–Excerpted Lynda’s new book, Breaking Up: Finding and Working with a New Jersey Divorce Attorney, available now on Amazon.com.
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The above is not specific legal advice nor does it create a lawyer-client relationship. Do not rely upon it without consulting an attorney to see how the information presented fits your unique circumstances.