It is inevitable. The dramatic moment when the attorney from the other side of your divorce case waves the Facebook or Instagram photo of you and your new boyfriend frolicking on vacation with your children on a beach to show what a horrible person you are and how much you don’t need alimony and child support, or the angry meme you posted calling out your ex that supports their claim you are harassing them.

Social media is a great thing for sharing resources, supporting one another and maintaining friendships and familial relationships. However, it is a horrible divorce court. Here are some things to do to make sure that your social media presence doesn’t create problems in your divorce.

  1. Weed out your friends. Can’t count the number of times a client who had a mutual friend with an ex share their private social media posts with the ex.
  2. Make your profiles private unless they are professional or completely devoid of anything that can be used against you.
  3. Don’t note on social media where you are if you have any safety concerns with an ex.
  4. Don’t post anything about your children in any high conflict custody matters. Wait until that’s resolved.
  5. Resist the temptation to use social media to show your ex how great you’re doing without them. I’m glad you are! But poking the bear when you’re trying to negotiate a settlement does not serve your interests.
  6. Keep any discussion of your divorce generic. This is not just for the purpose of keeping it out of the courts, but also you yourself will feel better later on if less people know all the intimate details of your experience. Share that privately with people you trust, but you can’t trust every one of your Facebook friends.
  7. This includes sharing in groups or comments on other’s posts. Be careful who can see what you think you are writing privately.
  8. Above all, focus on real life and let social media life be lighthearted.